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In the very beginning he told me that he loved me dearly and wanted to marry me. Not aggressively, but just without my OK or making sure I was comfortable, at least. Then I missed my period, and what was I going to do? He was always just outside the group and all he did was watch and listen. I wish I could have applied my feminist principles and only had empowering, fun-for-everyone sex, but I think I needed to make mistakes. This story-sharing blog is an extension of the oral history documentary Subjectified: Nine Young Women Talk about Sex. The feeling of being violated.

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Elisa. Age: 28.
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At age 13, I had had oral sex with two guys and one girl all separate incidents—maybe I was bisexual?

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Karter. Age: 30.
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Whatever the reason, I convinced myself I was not bisexual. Sex has never felt so fluid. I remember one of them picking me up by my elbow and pulling me behind one of the cars and undoing his pants. I squirted all over him for hours and eventually he fucked me from behind as I watched our reflection in window of that beautifully furnished hotel room.

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